Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Rule #1,109

Anybody can sing if you find the right key.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Rule #1,108

Don't be friends with people who don't like The Beatles.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Rule #1,107

The most unrealistic part of Dr. Who is that it's never raining in London.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Rule #1,106

Avoid social networking the day after an election if you can.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Rule #1,105

Voting in Oklahoma doesn't have much effect if you aren't staunchly conservative.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Rule #1,104

No matter who wins the American presidential election, the world isn't going to end.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Rule #1,103

Some news is so big it takes time to figure out how you feel about it.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Rule #1,102

If you're going against the traditional, majority understanding of something, you need to have some pretty impressive proof to back up your ideas.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Rule #1,101

You know you're an old married person when you have no good ideas for what someone should do on a first date.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Rule #1,100

It's hard to make a bad version of some foods.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Rule #1,099

George R.R. Martin is a cold-hearted killer.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Rule #1,097

No amount of background explanation can change your mind about some people.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Rule #1,096

Never apologize for the quality of free content.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Rule #1,095

If you're ever trying to puzzle out the deeper meaning of an image next to a rule, remember Meta-Rule #3 (aka Rule #522).

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Rule #1,094

Odd thoughts occasionally come at inappropriate times.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Rule #1,093

It's hard to get a job you never apply for.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Rule #1,092 (End of Spoilers Theme Week)

Spoilers Theme Rule #7:

Glen Matthews isn't going to tell you his name unless you ask him.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Rule #1,091

Spoilers Theme Rule #6:

If you're going to pretend to live in the past to escape society, don't forget to pack some penicillin.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Rule #1,090

Spoilers Theme Rule #5:

"Rosebud" is a stupid name for a sled.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Rule #1,089

Spoilers Theme Rule #4:

When you buy a crappy sled, you're not going to win in Olympic bobsledding. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Rule #1,088

Spoiler Theme Rule #3:

If a dad names his son Sue, the son will not name his son Sue.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Rule #1,087

Spoiler Theme Rule #2:

You can't not love Big Brother.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Rule #1,086 (Beginning of Spoilers Theme Week)

This week's rules are (SPOILER ALERT) based on spoilers in famous stories.  Tune out for a while if you haven't experience culture that's a decade or more old.

Spoiler Rule #1:

If your wife's been ignoring you for quite some time, you might be a ghost.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Rule #1,085

Filler content is technically still content.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Rule #1,084

Christmas is the worst day to have a birthday.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Rule #1,083

When looking for a picture about September 11th birthdays, it's hard to find one that isn't a cake decorated with flaming skyscrapers (No, I won't show you them.  Here's a terrible baby cake instead).

Friday, September 21, 2012

Rule #1,082

The anniversary of a tragedy is the second-worst day to have a birthday.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Rule #1,081

You'll probably never have enough time to do everything you want to do.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Rule #1,080

Grass never stops growing.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Rule #1,079

Car shopping is exhausting.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Rule #1,078

Ridiculous nerd fights only get better with pseudoscience.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Rule #1,077

When responsibilities pile up, it can be hard to know where to start.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Rule #1,076

One of the advantages to a major that involves a lot of reading is books big enough to be used as weapons.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Rule #1,075

A few weeks' worth of diet and exercise can be undone with one weekend of eating out constantly.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Rule #1,074

Four less rules to write every week doesn't make me any less lazy.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Rule #1,073 (End of What Makes Books Great Theme Week)

What Makes Books Great Rule #7:

Great books teach lessons without spelling them out.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Rule #1,072

What Makes Books Great Rule #6:

Great books are entertaining.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Rule #1,071

What Makes Books Great Rule #5:

Great books make you question what you believe in.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Rule #1,070

What Makes Books Great Rule #4:

Great books show you a better way to understand the world.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Rule #1,069

What Makes Books Great Rule #3:

Great books show you a future both terrifying and eerily realistic.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Rule #1,068

What Makes Books Great Rule #2:

Great books have characters that feel so real that when they die it's like you've lost a friend.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Rule #1,067 (Beginning of What Makes Books Great Theme Week)

 I'm an avid reader, and some books just have a tendency to draw you and captivate you.  In honor of such wonderful books, I'm writing a week's worth of rules concerning things books do that make them equal to more than the sum of their parts.

What Makes Books Great Rule #1:

Great books have such an interesting world setting that the background itself becomes a character.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Rule #1,066

Situps are hard, too.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Rule #1,065

Pushups are no fun.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Rule #1,064

It's hard when your dog is a picky eater and has food allergies.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Rule #1,063

Silence is almost impossible to experience in the modern world.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Rule #1,062

Electricity is a cruel and fickle mistress.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Rule #1,061

Even with a 20% employee discount, it's still usually cheaper to buy textbooks used on Amazon.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Rule #1,060

Training your dog to let you know it wants to go outside by ringing bells is a double-edge sword.