Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Rule #557


Mess with Texas.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Rule #556


You learn a lot more about a person at their funeral than you ever knew about them when they were alive.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Rule #555


News programs are not a reliable source of information.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Rule #554


Never underestimate the value of a quality mattress.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Rule #553


There are three kinds of old people: the mean, the sweet, and the needy.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Rule #550


Sometimes planning ahead can cause you to miss opportunities.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Rule #549


Being able to count a woman's ribs from afar is not attractive.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Rule #548


Don't overstate the case.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Rule #547 (End of Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Week & Theme Month)


Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Rule #7:

Suicide* does not solve all of life's problems.

*although I try to keep the mood light here on the rule blog, if you are contemplating suicide, get help, here or elsewhere.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Rule #546


Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Rule #6:

Don't fall asleep in forests inhabited by magical beings.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Rule #545


Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Rule #5:

Don't believe rumors without proof.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Rule #544


Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Rule #4:

If you're going to avenge your father's death, don't spend five acts whining about it. Just do it already.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Rule #543


Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid #3:

If you ever become a ruler of some sort, don't trust anyone.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Rule #542


Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Rule #2:

Don't take advice from witches.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Rule #541 (Beginning of Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Week)


Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Rule #1:

Don't get married at the age of 13 (especially not a secret marriage to your sworn enemy).

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Rule #540 (End of What I've Learned From Video Games Week)


What I've Learned from Video Games Rule #7:

Women in Video Games have very strong spines.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Rule #539


What I've Learned from Video Games Rule #6:

Don't drive over banana peels.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Rule #538


What I've Learned from Video Games Rule #5:

It is, in fact, possible to enjoy exercise.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Rule #537


What I've Learned from Video Games Rule #4:

LEGOs make everything (even Batman) more adorable.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Rule #536


What I've Learned from Video Games Rule #3:

If you get injured, don't bother going to the hospital. Just eat something, and you'll be fine.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Rule #535


What I've Learned from Video Games Rule #2:

As long as you have some sort of inventory, you can carry more equipment than a pack mule.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Rule #534 (Beginning of What I've Learned From Video Games Week)


What I've Learned From Video Games Rule #1:

You can never have too many coins.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Rule #533 (End of How to Survive a Horror Movie Week)


How to Survive a Horror Movie Rule #7:

If the killer goes down, don't wait to find out if they're actually dead or not. Just run.

*New addition to the rule blog: topical labels for all posts (A work in progress, so bear with me)! A labor of love for you, my faithful readers.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Rule #532


How to Survive a Horror Movie Rule #6:

Don't try to reason/bargain with the homicidal maniac.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Rule #531


How to Survive a Horror Movie Rule #5:

Don't take a shower.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Rule #530


How to Survive a Horror Movie Rule #4:

Don't ever say "I'll be right back."

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Rule #529


How to Survive a Horror Movie Rule #3:

When being chased by a murderous psychopath, never run upstairs.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Rule #528


How to Survive a Horror Movie Rule #2:

Don't split up.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Rule #527 (Beginning of How to Survive a Horror Movie Week)


How to Survive a Horror Movie Rule #1:

Don't be promiscuous (i.e. be a virgin or, barring that, be in a committed, monogamous relationship).