Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rule #38

Learn to enjoy the things you don't want to do that you have to do anyway.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Rule #37

Learn to deal with the fact that you don't always get to do what you want to do, and what you have to do won't always be what you want to do.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Rule #36

Just because you're in college, you don't have to parade around naked. None of the people you live with want to see that.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Rule #35

It's probably not a good idea to throw snowballs inside.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Rule #34

Fresh air is good for you. Make sure you go outside every once in a while and get some.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Rule #33

Family might not necessarily mean those with whom you share common DNA, but it is one of the most important things to have in your life. Hold onto it dearly.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Rule #32

Always have a spare door key to your car.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Rule #31

If you ever get a chance to go and see the ocean and you've never been, do it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Rule #30

Never stage dive unless you are sure someone will catch you.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Rule #29

If you have a choice between true love and anything else, you should almost always pick true love.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Rule #28

Personal hygiene is important: please don't smell like a foot all the time.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Rule #27

Don't ever get Icy Hot® in your eye.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Rule #26

Don't date someone out of your age bracket. There are possible exceptions, but generally I would place these brackets at:

12-21: no more than 2-3 years age difference.
22-35: no more than 5-7 years age difference.
36-55: no more than 10 years age difference.
56-65: no more than 15 years age difference.
66-?: anyone with a pulse who will date you.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Rule #25

Pay very close attention to your requirements for graduation, because they might be other than you had previously thought.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Rule #24

Some people will be virgins forever, no matter what they do.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Rule #23

Fight for your right to party.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Rule #22

Don't ever, ever, Google image search meth mouth (Don't click on that link. You have been warned).

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Rule #21 (End of Crazy Celebrity Guest Week)

Crazy Celebrity Rule #7 (from George W. Bush)

You don't always have to agree with your own opinion.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Rule #20

Crazy Celebrity Rule #6 (from Arnold Schwarzenegger)

Gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Rule #19

Crazy Celebrity Rule #5 (from Jessica Simpson)

Texans can't be anorexic.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Rule #18

Crazy Celebrity Rule #4 (from Ray Comfort)

Bananas prove the existence of God.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Rule #17

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #3 (from Christian Bale)

Don't ever ruin Christian Bale's shots.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Rule #16

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #2 (from Kanye West)

Life would be better if you could make popular music, but not have a lot of fans.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Rule #15 (Beginning of Crazy Celebrity Guest Week)

All this week I will be posting crazy rules written by celebrities, so without further ado:

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #1 (from Sheryl Crow)

Only use one sheet of toilet paper per visit, or two or three for those emergency situations.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Rule #14

Not all problems can be solved by "getting a conversation going".

Friday, March 6, 2009

Rule #13

Don't ever combine DayQuil, Percocet, and Ibuprofen, unless you want to go a vision quest to find your spirit animal (Mine's a white tiger, just so you know).

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Rule #12

Remember to always try and show people compassion, regardless of how obnoxious or confrontational they are behaving. You never know what they might be going through.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Rule #11

True love is being able to kiss someone who has morning breath.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Rule #10

It doesn't matter how right your arguments might be. Arguing on the internet is as meaningless as chasing after the wind.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Rule #9

It's always a good idea to understand history. Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Rule #8

Never wear a toupee. You're not fooling anyone, and you should be happy with who you are.