Rule #954 ( Beginning of the Conan the Barbarian Guest Week)

By Crom! If you are weak, flee in fear, for this week on the rule blog belongs to Conan the Barbarian.

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #1:

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split.

Rule #929

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #11:

Sometimes it's totally innocent when an attractive young woman is living with seven lonely bachelors.

Rule #921

What I've Learned from Video Games Rule #10:

Effeminate men love ridiculous clothing and giant swords.

Rule #799 (End of Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends Week)

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends Rule #7:

Because they don't train seeing-eye cats or rescue cats.

Rule #798

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friend Rule #6:

They can scare off intruders and loneliness.

Rule #797

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends Rule #5:

They're not cats.

Rule #796

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends Rule #4:

Dogs don't care if you blame them for your farts.

Rule #795

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friend Rule #3:

Men don't dress dogs up in ridiculous outfits.

Rule #794

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends Rule #2:

They'll help you clean.

Rule #793 (Beginning of Theme Month & Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends Week)

It's time for another theme month, and, to celebrate my coming initiation into dog ownership this weekend, I'm kicking it off with a week of rules about why dogs are man's best friend.

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends Rule #1:

Dogs are loyal.

Rule #792

Fixing things makes you feel like a man.

Rule #787

Your average adult male can't kill an ostrich (or a llama) with his bare hands.

Rule #714

Johnny Cash Guest Rule #13:

Understand your man.

Rule #707

Clichéd Platitude #13:

All is fair in love and war.

Rule #665

Every man needs a Fortress of Solitude.

Rule #651

Men don't care about curtains (regardless of what my wife thinks).

Rule #644

Civil Rights Guest Rule #6 (from Susan B. Anthony):

No man is good enough to govern any woman without her consent.

Rule #619

No-Shave-November should be a national holiday.

Rule #506

Dusting makes your wife very happy.

Rule #412

Human potential is both awe-inspiring and terrifying.