Rule #1,103

Some news is so big it takes time to figure out how you feel about it.

Rule #1,089

Spoilers Theme Rule #4:

When you buy a crappy sled, you're not going to win in Olympic bobsledding. 

Rule #1,024

You can only do tedious things for so long before you're ready to murder someone.

Rule #932 (End of What I've Learned From Disney Movies Week #2 & Sequel Month #2)

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #14:

Things will always get worse before they get better.

Rule #931

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #13:

Never torture your toys.

Rule #930

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #12:

Breaking a curse or not, it's creepy to kiss a sleeping woman you don't even know.

Rule #929

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #11:

Sometimes it's totally innocent when an attractive young woman is living with seven lonely bachelors.

Rule #928

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #10:

Witches are almost always evil.

Rule #927

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #9:

Cross-dressing is one of the many paths by which one can find true love.

Rule #926 (Beginning of What I've Learned from Disney Movies Week #2)

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #8:

Frying pans are excellent weapons.

Rule #813 (End of What I've Learned From Disney Movies Week)

What I've Learned From Disney Movies Rule #7:

Members of other cultures and races sound white, and they all speak English.

Rule #812

What I've Learned From Disney Movies Rule #6:

Black market dog pelts are serious business.

Rule #811

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #5:

All animals are sentient, and most of the ones you think are dangerous can actually be friendly.

Rule #810

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #4:

You can't trust aunts, uncles, or stepparents.

Rule #809

What I've Learned From Disney Movies Rule #3:

Villains die horrible, violent deaths.

Rule #808

What I've Learned From Disney Movies Rule #2:

Every emotion can be expressed through song.

Rule #807 (Beginning of What I've Learned From Disney Movies Week)

What I've Learned From Disney Movies Rule #1:

Every good protagonist is an orphan.

Rule #784

Even Travis knew when it was time to put Old Yeller down.

Rule #750

Anthropomorphism makes some things better, and some things much worse.

Rule #730

Rule #729 often protects our brains from terrible, terrible things.