Thursday, November 17, 2011

Rule #1,000

Always leave them wanting more.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

If I Leave Here Tomorrow, Will You Still Remember Me?

Tomorrow's rule will be the end of this blog for the foreseeable future. This a decision I've argued back and forth with myself, but, with my current load of responsibilities, a daily updated blog is something which I can no longer continue to maintain. There may be rules at some point in the future again, but 1,000 rules seems like a good place to stop for now. For all of you who have been faithful followers of this blog and enjoyed it, thank you for your devotion. For all of you who have been faithful followers of this blog and not enjoyed it, I might ask why, but I suppose I owe you thanks as well. There are many trite words that could be said, none of which might sufficiently express my feelings at this, an end of an era in my life; in earnest simplicity, I will merely say goodbye. I'll miss you all.

Rule #999

There's a certain thrilling satisfaction that comes from watching an odometer roll over.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Rule #998

Television is rarely accurate in its portrayal of any particular grouping of people.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Rule #997

Christmas can start as early as you want (as long as it's after Halloween).

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Rule #996

British actors are very good at accents.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Rule #995

American actors are not very good at accents.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Rule #994

"Hip" and "culturally relevant" have a shorter shelf life than milk.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Rule #993

When you're having car trouble and don't know how to fix it, a car engine looks like the world's most complicated puzzle.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Rule #992

Settings a mouse trap makes you afraid for your fingers.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Rule #991

Sometimes you have too much to say and too little time.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Rule #990

Sometimes you have too much time and too little to say.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Rule #989

Daylight Savings Time is a cruel mistress who gives time only to take it away.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Rule #988

When you've lived in Oklahoma your whole life, it's possible to not experience an earthquake until age 24.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Rule #987

It's not likely, but it is possible to acquire two jobs in one day.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Rule #986

Astonishingly, it's possible to score 18 points in one inning of softball.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Rule #985

Clothing should have nothing to do with irony.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Rule #984

It's easy to fall behind right before you cross the finish line.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Rule #983

There's nothing quite as wonderful for Evil Wanderer as the look on a child's face when you run out of candy on Halloween.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Rule #982

Putting teenagers in masks with leafblowers in a corn maze doesn't really make it any scarier.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Rule #981

Some things just won't seem to disappear, even after the hype has died down.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Rule #980

Dogs can fall asleep in positions that would break a human's spine.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Rule #979

There is a careful order of operations when using Icy Hot, using the restroom, and washing your hands.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Rule #978

Depressing rules are depressing.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Rule #977

Grief can destroy you, but only if you let it.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Rule #976

It's easy (and cheaper) to prevent fleas than it is to treat them.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Rule #975

Getting a plumbing estimate over the phone isn't easy.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Rule #974

There are very few reasons anyone would willingly go to Arnett, OK.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Rule #973

Superman should never wear a Thriller jacket.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Rule #972

It's possible for a show to be about fashion and psychology.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Rule #971

The only thing worse than telling corny jokes is having to tell someone else's corny jokes.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Rule #970

Death is a good thing when it brings closure.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Rule #969

Watching someone struggle to breath is a long, hard way to spend your time.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Rule #968

Death is unpredictable.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Rule #967

Time in a football game is even more unpredictable than time in Narnia.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Rule #966

Before you let a dog groomer give your dog a Westie cut, ask what that means.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Rule #965

Nature's fine with me as long as it stays outside.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Rule #964

The fact that people collect things doesn't make them valuable.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Monday, October 10, 2011

Rule #962

Vomiting is a terrible way to start your day.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Rule #961

Finding a job in ministry is a lot like finding a date to the Sadie Hawkins Dance: all you can do is find a good place to stay visible, and hope someone good picks you.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Rule #960 (End of Conan the Barbarian Guest Week)

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #7:

Conan! What is best in life?

(watch video for answer and today's rule.)

Friday, October 7, 2011

Rule #959

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #6:

Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Rule #958

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #5:

There's nothing in the universe cold steel won't cut.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Rule #957

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #4:

Let me live deep while I live.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Rule #956

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #3:

When I cannot stand alone, it will be time to die.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Rule #955

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #2:

Mount and follow me to Hell.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Rule #954 ( Beginning of the Conan the Barbarian Guest Week)

By Crom! If you are weak, flee in fear, for this week on the rule blog belongs to Conan the Barbarian.

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #1:

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Rule #953

Sometimes it's all in your head.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Rule #952

When you work hard to clean, you want to keep things clean.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Rule #951

Take time out for lunch with good friends.