Rule #1,082

The anniversary of a tragedy is the second-worst day to have a birthday.

Rule #978

Depressing rules are depressing.

Rule #747

Giving up something you love (even if it's only temporary) is never easy.

Rule #709 (Beginning of Johnny Cash Guest Week #2)

Johnny Cash Guest Rule #8:

Get rhythm when you get the blues.

Rule #610

Watching the Jersey Shore can only end in giving up hope for humanity.

Rule #594

Math Guest Rule #5:

If you multiply negativity in life, you get ulcers. If you multiply negativity in math, you get positivity.

Rule #512

The day after your birthday can be kind of depressing (but doesn't have to be).