Rule #1,084

Christmas is the worst day to have a birthday.

Rule #1,083

When looking for a picture about September 11th birthdays, it's hard to find one that isn't a cake decorated with flaming skyscrapers (No, I won't show you them.  Here's a terrible baby cake instead).

Rule #1,082

The anniversary of a tragedy is the second-worst day to have a birthday.

Rule #1,045

I don't have to write a rule on my birthday if I don't want to.

Rule #867

Life's a funny thing when you're getting paid to make yourself a birthday card.

Rule #731

Birthday wishes don't mean as much if they come a day late.

Rule #512

The day after your birthday can be kind of depressing (but doesn't have to be).

Rule #511

Nothing says "It's your birthday!" like a 16oz steak.

Rule #449

Don't ever forget to wish your mother a Happy Birthday.

Rule #366

It's just as important to remember anniversaries as it is birthdays.*

*Happy Anniversary, Rule Blog!

Rule #364

Forgetting the birthdays of loved ones is disastrous: don't let it happen to you.

Rule #334

Hiding places are hard to come by in a one-bedroom apartment occupied by two people.

Rule #330

Birthday surprise shouldn't be used to taunt the people you love (but it's a lot of fun when they are).

Rule #126

Past your 21st, birthdays become less and less meaningful.