Rule #38

Learn to enjoy the things you don't want to do that you have to do anyway.

Rule #37

Learn to deal with the fact that you don't always get to do what you want to do, and what you have to do won't always be what you want to do.

Rule #36

Just because you're in college, you don't have to parade around naked. None of the people you live with want to see that.

Rule #35

It's probably not a good idea to throw snowballs inside.

Rule #34

Fresh air is good for you. Make sure you go outside every once in a while and get some.

Rule #33

Family might not necessarily mean those with whom you share common DNA, but it is one of the most important things to have in your life. Hold onto it dearly.

Rule #32

Always have a spare door key to your car.

Rule #31

If you ever get a chance to go and see the ocean and you've never been, do it.

Rule #30

Never stage dive unless you are sure someone will catch you.

Rule #29

If you have a choice between true love and anything else, you should almost always pick true love.

Rule #28

Personal hygiene is important: please don't smell like a foot all the time.

Rule #27

Don't ever get Icy Hot® in your eye.

Rule #26

Don't date someone out of your age bracket. There are possible exceptions, but generally I would place these brackets at:

12-21: no more than 2-3 years age difference.
22-35: no more than 5-7 years age difference.
36-55: no more than 10 years age difference.
56-65: no more than 15 years age difference.
66-?: anyone with a pulse who will date you.

Rule #25

Pay very close attention to your requirements for graduation, because they might be other than you had previously thought.

Rule #24

Some people will be virgins forever, no matter what they do.

Rule #23

Fight for your right to party.

Rule #22

Don't ever, ever, Google image search meth mouth (Don't click on that link. You have been warned).

Rule #21 (End of Crazy Celebrity Guest Week)

Crazy Celebrity Rule #7 (from George W. Bush)

You don't always have to agree with your own opinion.

Rule #20

Crazy Celebrity Rule #6 (from Arnold Schwarzenegger)

Gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Rule #19

Crazy Celebrity Rule #5 (from Jessica Simpson)

Texans can't be anorexic.

Rule #18

Crazy Celebrity Rule #4 (from Ray Comfort)

Bananas prove the existence of God.

Rule #17

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #3 (from Christian Bale)

Don't ever ruin Christian Bale's shots.

Rule #16

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #2 (from Kanye West)

Life would be better if you could make popular music, but not have a lot of fans.

Rule #15 (Beginning of Crazy Celebrity Guest Week)

All this week I will be posting crazy rules written by celebrities, so without further ado:

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #1 (from Sheryl Crow)

Only use one sheet of toilet paper per visit, or two or three for those emergency situations.

Rule #14

Not all problems can be solved by "getting a conversation going".

Rule #13

Don't ever combine DayQuil, Percocet, and Ibuprofen, unless you want to go a vision quest to find your spirit animal (Mine's a white tiger, just so you know).

Rule #12

Remember to always try and show people compassion, regardless of how obnoxious or confrontational they are behaving. You never know what they might be going through.

Rule #11

True love is being able to kiss someone who has morning breath.

Rule #10

It doesn't matter how right your arguments might be. Arguing on the internet is as meaningless as chasing after the wind.

Rule #9

It's always a good idea to understand history. Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

Rule #8

Never wear a toupee. You're not fooling anyone, and you should be happy with who you are.