Rule #1,043

Some video games are like digital heroin.

Rule #1,017

The lack of the internet cripples modern humanity (we're addicts).

Rule #661

Books are addictive.

Rule #654

You don't realize how addicting the internet is until you try and live without it.

Rule #649

Taking caffeine out of things that are supposed to have caffeine is ridiculous.

Rule #588

Johnny Cash Guest Rule #6:

Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

Rule #567

Tea is delicious.

Rule #551

Stay away from all-consuming facebook games.

Rule #349

Some things should be avoided: not because you are already addicted to them, but because you undoubtedly would become addicted if you tried them.

Rule #13

Don't ever combine DayQuil, Percocet, and Ibuprofen, unless you want to go a vision quest to find your spirit animal (Mine's a white tiger, just so you know).