Rule #1,066

Situps are hard, too.

Rule #1,044

It's not a sunburn if it doesn't hurt.

Rule #1,026

Exercise hurts, but it's worth the effort.

Rule #1,016

Don't put paint on your lips.  It chafes. 

Rule #992

Settings a mouse trap makes you afraid for your fingers.

Rule #979

There is a careful order of operations when using Icy Hot, using the restroom, and washing your hands.

Rule #851

Seriously: use sunscreen.

Rule #849

Some pain can't be understood until it's lived.

Rule #822

Sometimes you just have to suffer.

Rule #715 (End of Johnny Cash Guest Week #2)

Johnny Cash Guest Rule #14:

If I could start again a million miles away, I would keep myself; I would find a way.

Rule #658

Dropping a soup can on the top of your foot really hurts.

Rule #609

When you've created something wonderful, don't try and add anything to it.

Rule #458

Never say no to a free meal (unless it is KFC's Double Down).

Rule #429

It's strangely easy to forget that machines can't get their feelings hurt.

Rule #257

If you're in a relationship with someone and they get sick, eventually so will you.

Rule #194

Neck problems can be highly debilitating.

Rule #148

Stomach aches can be frustrating, especially when they feel surprisingly similar to hunger.

Rule #144

It is rarely easy to say goodbye.

Rule #122

Allergies can be very frustrating if you're allergic to something you love.

Rule #49

If you're going to foul someone, make it count.