Rule #969

Watching someone struggle to breath is a long, hard way to spend your time.

Rule #810

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #4:

You can't trust aunts, uncles, or stepparents.

Rule #785

There are legitimate reasons for a 23 year-old man to have a small spoon collection.

Rule #725

There's no such thing as a quick phone conversation with grandma.

Rule #544

Horrible Mistakes Made by Shakespearean Characters You Should Avoid Rule #4:

If you're going to avenge your father's death, don't spend five acts whining about it. Just do it already.

Rule #507

Always make sure your escape route is clear before you set off a bug bomb in your house.

Rule #449

Don't ever forget to wish your mother a Happy Birthday.

Rule #416

There is no wrong way to cope with the loss of a loved one.

Rule #364

Forgetting the birthdays of loved ones is disastrous: don't let it happen to you.

Rule #312

Married Life from a Female Perspective Guest Rule #4 (from Jennifer Wright, wife of Andy, who I'm sure was not at fault for trailer backing incidents):

Remember that forgetting is a huge part of forgiving.

Rule #311

Married Life From A Female Perspective Guest Rule #3 (from my mommy, Carol Wright, who isn't internet savvy enough for me to have a link for her):

There's nothing like laughing in bed with someone you love.

Rule #293

Married Life From A Male Perspective Guest Rule #6 (from Andy Wright, my brother, who is a wise and powerful man):

Never ask your wife to help you back up a boat or any other trailer - it will inevitably end in destruction of personal property and an argument about the proper protocol for trailer backing hand signals.

Rule #278

There's no way to celebrate a holiday like gluttony. And togetherness.

Rule #234

Webcomic Guest Rule #3 (from Least I Could Do):

If your parents aren't willing to die for you to become Batman, they don't really love you.

Rule #167

Looking through photos albums can be exhausting.

Rule #144

It is rarely easy to say goodbye.

Rule #99

Never forget the people who have made you what you are.

Rule #33

Family might not necessarily mean those with whom you share common DNA, but it is one of the most important things to have in your life. Hold onto it dearly.