Rule #1,101

You know you're an old married person when you have no good ideas for what someone should do on a first date.

Rule #111

Accents, real or fake, are a fantastic way to make yourself more interesting, attractive, and/or mysterious.

Rule #26

Don't date someone out of your age bracket. There are possible exceptions, but generally I would place these brackets at:

12-21: no more than 2-3 years age difference.
22-35: no more than 5-7 years age difference.
36-55: no more than 10 years age difference.
56-65: no more than 15 years age difference.
66-?: anyone with a pulse who will date you.

Rule #3

When you argue with a woman, you're probably going to be wrong, no matter how right you might be. Give up early.