Rule #769

Life should be fun.

Rule #768

Putting something together almost always takes more time than you think it will.

Rule #767

Snoozing for an hour is a bad way to start your day.

Rule #766

A new keyboard is a wonderful thing.

Rule #765

No one will ever spend money just to let people know something is free.

Rule #764 (End of Rapper Guest Week)

Rapper Guest Rule #7 (from Jay-Z):

If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward.

Rule #763

Rapper Guest Rule #6 (from Flobots):

I can ride my bike with no handlebars.

Rule #762

Rapper Guest Rule #5 (from Vanilla Ice):

Turn off the lights and I'll glow.

Rule #761

Rapper Guest Rule #4 (from Outkast):

Ain't nobody dope as me; I'm dressed so fresh, so clean.

Rule #760

Rapper Guest Rule #3 (from Sugarhill Gang):

What you hear is not a test--I'm rappin' to the beat.

Rule #759

Rapper Guest Rule #2 (from Kanye West):

You wait a couple months then you gon' see you'll never find nobody better than me.

Rule #758 (Beginning of Rapper Guest Week)

Some of you might be surprised to know that I quite enjoy rap. I'll do my best not to say something embarrassingly white here, but you know the drill*:

Rapper Guest Rule #1 (from Snoop Dogg):

When the pigs try to get at ya, park it like it's hot.

*Links this week are very likely to contain profanity, so if you have delicate sensibilities (or just hate rap) I'd avoid clicking them.

Rule #757

Hollywood hates moral ambiguity almost as much as it loves happy endings.

Rule #756

Fanboys (and girls) come in all shapes and sizes.

Rule #755

Be wary of machines that try and do your thinking for you.

Rule #754

Haters gonna hate.

Rule #753

Beware the ides of March.

Rule #752

You have to celebrate Pi Day if your wife is a math teacher.

Rule #751

The worst of situations can often bring out the best in people.

Rule #750

Anthropomorphism makes some things better, and some things much worse.

Rule #749

Sometimes rules have to be broken to say what you want to say.

Rule #748

Some activities (such as motorcycle racing, extreme sports, and dare-deviling) are logarithmic in the amount they increase how cool you are. Other activities (such as martial arts, marksmanship, and artistic ability) are exponential in the amount they increase how cool you are.

Rule #747

Giving up something you love (even if it's only temporary) is never easy.

Rule #746

When it's car vs. brick wall, the brick wall may take a beating, but it's always going to win.

Rule #745

Pacemaker or not, you probably shouldn't be allowed to portray Darth Vader if you've never seen Star Wars.

Rule #744

Waking up before the sun isn't easy, but is also occasionally necessary.

Rule #743

Only bend space/time when it's absolutely necessary.

Rule #742

There are always too many or too few good movies in theaters at any given time.

Rule #741

It's hard to tell the difference between a celebrity who's actually crazy and one who just wants attention.

Rule #740

A MacBook doesn't make you Andy Warhol.

Rule #739

Time spent is time you never get back.