Rule #1,078

Ridiculous nerd fights only get better with pseudoscience.

Rule #1,055

A Song of Ice and Fire Rule #5:

Fire cannot kill a dragon.

Rule #1,051 (Beginning of A Song of Ice and Fire Week)

I'm hooked, you guys.  Hooked bad.  Rules are coming...

A Song of Ice and Fire Rule #1:

The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.

Rule #960 (End of Conan the Barbarian Guest Week)

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #7:

Conan! What is best in life?

(watch video for answer and today's rule.)

Rule #959

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #6:

Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong.

Rule #958

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #5:

There's nothing in the universe cold steel won't cut.

Rule #955

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #2:

Mount and follow me to Hell.

Rule #954 ( Beginning of the Conan the Barbarian Guest Week)

By Crom! If you are weak, flee in fear, for this week on the rule blog belongs to Conan the Barbarian.

Conan the Barbarian Guest Rule #1:

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split.

Rule #932 (End of What I've Learned From Disney Movies Week #2 & Sequel Month #2)

What I've Learned from Disney Movies Rule #14:

Things will always get worse before they get better.

Rule #925 (End of What I've Learned From Video Games Week #2)

What I've Learned from Video Games Rule #14:

Football only gets better the more gratuitous violence you add.

Rule #885

Killing murderers doesn't make their victims any less dead.

Rule #809

What I've Learned From Disney Movies Rule #3:

Villains die horrible, violent deaths.

Rule #753

Beware the ides of March.

Rule #748

Some activities (such as motorcycle racing, extreme sports, and dare-deviling) are logarithmic in the amount they increase how cool you are. Other activities (such as martial arts, marksmanship, and artistic ability) are exponential in the amount they increase how cool you are.

Rule #739

Time spent is time you never get back.

Rule #736

If a comic book is called "Skull-Kickers," at least one skull should get kicked every issue.

Rule #708 (End of Clichéd Platitude Guest Week #2)

Clichéd Platitude #14:

Speak softly and carry a big stick.

Rule #707

Clichéd Platitude #13:

All is fair in love and war.

Rule #697

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #10 (from Tom Cruise):

Talk is overrated as a means of settling disputes.

Rule #667 (Beginning of the Reign of the Evil Wanderer)

Hey losers! Rule #666 opened up a portal to a parallel dimension where an evil doppelganger Wanderer runs things. Now that I'm loose in your dimension, I'm taking over, starting with this blog.

Evil Rule #1:

Kick puppies. Constantly.