Rule #809

What I've Learned From Disney Movies Rule #3:

Villains die horrible, violent deaths.

Rule #788

A television show less than a month away from the series finale shouldn't be showing filler episodes.

Rule #784

Even Travis knew when it was time to put Old Yeller down.

Rule #737

No matter how much you think you know about something, there's always more that could be learned.

Rule #655

The fact that something is a tie-in product doesn't necessarily mean it will suck (although most do).

Rule #435 (Beginning of Living Like John McClane Week)

Those of you who know me know that I love Die Hard and its titular main character, John McClane. Since I've shown you how to live like a supervillain, I thought this week I'd show you how to live like a foul-mouthed, anti-hero who isn't afraid to get a little blood on his hands. Shall we?

Living Like John McClane Rule #1:

Shoot first and ask questions later (assuming you left anyone alive [although, for John McClane's interrogation techniques*, this isn't technically necessary]).

*Disclaimer: links this week are likely to contain profanity. Click at your own risk.

Rule #406 (End of How to Become a Supervillain Week)

How to Become a Supervillain Rule #7:

When you (inevitably) get caught, plead insanity. It always works.

Rule #405

How to Become a Supervillain Rule #6:

After capturing your archnemesis, explain your plans to them in nauseating detail before placing them in an easily-escaped death trap.

(The Real) Rule #404

How to Become a Supervillain Rule #5:

Kill someone your archnemesis cares about.

Rule #403

How to Become A Supervillain Rule #4:

Come up with some sort of zany scheme for world domination, such as mind control perfume, taking control of television, stealing Alaska, a terrorist telethon, or mind controlling rock and roll music.

Rule #402

How to Become a Supervillain Rule #3:

Pick an archnemesis (it helps if they've somehow wronged you in the past, but it isn't necessary).

Rule #401

How to Become A Supervillain Rule #2:

Pick some sort of zany theme to your crimes, such as numbers, holidays, sending the police riddles, using toys, boomerangs, etc.

Rule #400 (Beginning of How To Become A Supervillain Week)

It's time for another theme week here on the rule blog, and I've decided to help all of you give in to your heart's most evil desires, because this week's theme is: How to Become A Supervillain. Let's get to it, shall we?

How to Become a Supervillain Rule #1:

Get a ridiculously absurd costume.

Bonus points to anyone who can name all of these villains!

Rule #57 (End of Supervillain Guest Week)

Supervillain Rule #7 (from the Joker)

All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.

Rule #56

Supervillain Rule #6 (from Brainiac)

There are two ways to deal with envy: admit it and learn to do without, or take whatever it is that you want.

Rule #55

Supervillain Rule #5 (from Sinestro)

Control comes not from love, compassion, or hope, but from fear.

Rule #54

Supervillain Rule #4 (from Catwoman)

Authority is not to be respected because people with authority act like morons.

Rule #53

Supervillain Rule #3 (from Bane)

Some people are too ugly to hit.

Rule #52

Supervillain Rule #2 (from Captain Cold)

Only murder someone under two circumstances: if it's kill or be killed, or if you're after good old-fashioned vengeance.

Rule #51 (Beginning of Supervillain Guest Week)

All this week I will be running rules by supervillains, so without further ado:

Supervillain Rule #1 (from Lex Luthor)

People will always need land, because it's the one thing they're not making any more of.