Rule #1,004

Twenty-four may not be old yet, but it feels less and less like young every day.

Rule #983

There's nothing quite as wonderful for Evil Wanderer as the look on a child's face when you run out of candy on Halloween.

Rule #946

Everyone has a childhood crush that sticks with them for life.

Rule #918 (End of Webcomic Guest Week #2)

Webcomic Guest Rule #14 (from Toothpaste for Dinner):

Babies don't need pockets.

Rule #830

We always think we know better than the generation that came before us, and the generation that came before us always thinks it knows better than us.

Rule #749

Sometimes rules have to be broken to say what you want to say.

Rule #745

Pacemaker or not, you probably shouldn't be allowed to portray Darth Vader if you've never seen Star Wars.

Rule #731

Birthday wishes don't mean as much if they come a day late.

Rule #672

Evil Rule #6 (from Evil Wanderer):

Smoking makes you cooler (especially if you're not 18 yet).

Rule #668

Evil Rule #2 (from Evil Wanderer):

Steal candy from babies.

Rule #660

When the law won't let you abuse your children*, get creative.


*Rules to Live Your Life By does not advocate child abuse. Usually.

Rule #647

Children act like wild animals in large groups.

Rule #643

Civil Rights Guest Rule #5 (from Harvey Milk):

All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.

Rule #503

Some things just aren't as good as you remember them being when you were a kid.

Rule #397

Small children are perpetual liars.

Rule #396

Children can turn any toy into a weapon.