Rule #648

Sleeping on an air mattress is better than sleeping on plywood.

Rule #647

Children act like wild animals in large groups.

Rule #646

If you failed tremendously on your last attempt, you have nowhere to go but up.

Rule #645 (End of Civil Rights Leaders Guest Week)

Civil Rights Guest Rule #7 (from Martin Luther King, Jr.):

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Rule #644

Civil Rights Guest Rule #6 (from Susan B. Anthony):

No man is good enough to govern any woman without her consent.

Rule #643

Civil Rights Guest Rule #5 (from Harvey Milk):

All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.

Rule #642

Civil Rights Guest Rule #4 (from Cesar Chavez):

Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed.

Rule #641

Civil Rights Guest Rule #3 (from the Dalai Lama):

Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.

Rule #640

Civil Rights Guest Rule #2 (from Pope John Paul II):

Social justice cannot be created by violence. Violence kills what it intends to create.

Rule #639 (Beginning of Civil Rights Leaders Guest Week)

I'd apologize for another guest week so soon if I ever apologized for anything, but Civil Rights have been on my mind a lot lately. So, in honor of these revolutionaries (and hopefully in an attempt to offset some of the karma of Political Philosophy Guest Week), power to the peaceful:

Civil Rights Guest Rule #1 (from Mohandas Ghandi):

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Rule #638

Even if your one bedroom apartment feels cramped and tiny, it'll still take forever to pack.

Rule #637

Fame and infamy are not synonymous terms.

Rule #636

If you're going to use email, it should be gmail.

Rule #635

People are unlikely to appreciate things in the same way you do.

Rule #634

Football is more fun when your team is winning.

Rule #633

October is too early to start celebrating Christmas.

Rule #632

Internet comments will destroy your faith in humanity.

Rule #631 (End of Mixed Metaphor Theme Week)

Mixed Metaphor #7:

If at first you don't succeed, die by the sword.

Rule #630

Mixed Metaphor #6:

You can't teach an old dog to take the bull by the horns.

Rule #629

Mixed Metaphor #5:

Don't make mountains before swine.

Rule #628

Mixed Metaphor #4:

Don't judge a gift horse by its cover.

Rule #627

Mixed Metaphor #3:

A penny saved is worth two in the bush.

Rule #626

Mixed Metaphor #2:

People who live in glass houses sink ships.

Rule #625 (Beginning of Mixed Metaphor Theme Week)

This week, we're mixing and matching metaphors to make all new aphorisms. Here we go:

Mixed Metaphor #1:

Don't count your chickens before they cross the road.

Rule #624

Melted candy still tastes fine.

Rule #623

Thrift stores are an excellent place to find cheap books.

Rule #622

While some are hypocritical and don't realize it, others are hypocritical and don't care.

Rule #621

It's okay to complain even if you didn't vote.

Rule #620

Don't let anyone shame you into voting.

Rule #619

No-Shave-November should be a national holiday.