Rule #1,027

Before you commit to dressing up in a silly costume, remember that fake beards are itchy, and paint on your skin can get very uncomfortable.

Rule #1,003

Dogs can teach you a lot about what is and isn't important in life.

Rule #692

Don't let someone take a picture of you with underwear on your head.

Rule #691

If someone wants to bury you in the sand (and you have the time), go for it. It actually feels kind of nice.

Rule #689

"For Narnia!" is the perfect battle-cry.

Rule #688

There's no wrong time to rock out to Bohemian Rhapsody.

Rule #383

Some things you regret forever.

Rule #329

Things that seem awesome at the time may bring regrets later.