Rule #710

Johnny Cash Guest Rule #9:

Until things are brighter, I'm the Man in Black.

Rule #709 (Beginning of Johnny Cash Guest Week #2)

Johnny Cash Guest Rule #8:

Get rhythm when you get the blues.

Rule #708 (End of Clichéd Platitude Guest Week #2)

Clichéd Platitude #14:

Speak softly and carry a big stick.

Rule #707

Clichéd Platitude #13:

All is fair in love and war.

Rule #706

Clichéd Platitude #12:

The grass is always greener on the other side.

Rule #705

Clichéd Platitude #11:

Don't judge a book by its cover.

Rule #704

Clichéd Platitude #10:

No news is good news.

Rule #703

Clichéd Platitude #9:

Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

Rule #702 (Beginning of Clichéd Platitude Guest Week #2)

Clichéd Platitude #8:

Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Rule #701 (End of Crazy Celebrity Guest Week #2)

Celebrity Guest Rule #14 (from Lady Gaga):

Live your eyeliner, breathe your lipstick, and kill for each other.

Rule #700

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #13 (from Prince):

The internet is completely over.

Rule #699

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #12 (from Pat Robertson):

The persecution evangelical Christians suffer from liberal America is worse than the persecution suffered by any other group in history.

Rule #698

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #11 (from Sarah Palin):

Obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies.

Rule #697

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #10 (from Tom Cruise):

Talk is overrated as a means of settling disputes.

Rule #696

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #9 (from Britney Spears):

If you want to visit Canada from the United States, you'll have to travel overseas.

Rule #695 (Beginning of Crazy Celebrity Guest Week #2 & Sequel Month)

For the next four weeks, I'm going to be revisiting past theme and guest weeks for a second round. Join me, won't you?

Crazy Celebrity Guest Rule #8 (from Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino)

If you want to look somewhat like The Situation (which is gonna be pretty hard), you need to get that protein in your diet.

Rule #694

Adorable pictures make all of life's problems seem less important, if only for a moment.

Rule #693

Kindness should always be welcome, especially when it comes from where you least expect it.

Rule #692

Don't let someone take a picture of you with underwear on your head.

Rule #691

If someone wants to bury you in the sand (and you have the time), go for it. It actually feels kind of nice.

Rule #690

One is the loneliest number.

Rule #689

"For Narnia!" is the perfect battle-cry.

Rule #688

There's no wrong time to rock out to Bohemian Rhapsody.

Rule #687 (End of Grammar Theme Week)

Grammar Rule #7:

You lose if you spell the opposite of tight with one "o."

Rule #686

Grammar Rule #6:

Something isn't "literally" happening unless it's actually happening.

Rule #685

Grammar Rule #5:

There's a difference between "i.e." and "e.g."

Rule #684

Grammar Rule #4:

"Alright" is not a word.

Rule #683

Grammar Rule #3:

There's a difference between "its" and "it's."

Rule #682

Grammar Rule #2:

"Alot" is not a word.

Rule #681 (Beginning of Grammar Theme Week)

Zeig heil, grammar nazis! Your time has come! (But remember Rule #86)

Grammar Rule #1:

There's a difference between "their," "they're," and "there."

Rule #680

No one knows the actual lyrics to Auld Lang Syne (especially while drunk).